• Posted by Lisa Ramsey on July 31st, 2008, 3:45 PM

    I am my father’s daughter in many ways, especially in this particular one:  I love to eat. Anything and everything.  But there has been a sticking point on culinary preference between my father and myself lately and its all about meat.  I’m not that into it.  I eat it, I want you all to know, but not that often and rarely red meat.  Dad eats a lot of meat, mostly red.  So how to compromise at the dinner table?  By hunting down a proud and beautiful creature and devouring it, that’s how. Here’s why:

    1 – Health reasons.  Unlike our overfarmed beefs, deers are antibiotics and chemicals free.  They’re also grass-fed as opposed to corn fed which keeps them slim.  Deer meat is crazy low in calories, fat, and cholesterol.  You have to cook the stuff with olive oil or bacon grease because the meat is so lean.  And delicious.

    2 – The utopian ideal of knowing your food.  You know, like the Native Americans.  Why ignore the torturous origins of your factory farm meats when you can kneel over and speak to your future dinner while you watch it die.  Tell him or her, “Everything’s gonna be OK, baby.  I know it hurts now and I know its me that’s done it, but later I’m gonna eat you and you’ll live again through me.  We’ll be as one.  Soon.”  Isn’t that nice?  I think so.  And it leads me into reason 3…

    3 – The awesome power you gain from eating a dead champion.  You will gain the free-spirited and primal knowledge of a  demi-goddess.  You will be psychically more complete and spiritually infinite.  Guess what you learn from a multivitamin?  Jack shit.  AKA nothing at all whatsoever.  A food you killed yourself is the realest food you can eat.  Ever.

    Plus deer is practically free if you hunt it down yourself.  A hunting license in Pennsylvania is only $20.  If you perhaps live in the city, hunt your deer down online at Venison.com.  It’s more nerdy and less brutal warrior-esque, but you can at least reap the health benefits and bring your family together in health and red meat.  Happy hunting, everyone.


    (Serves 6 to 8 )

    1 1/2 pounds ground venison
    1/3 cup seasoned bread crumbs
    1/3 cup olive oil
    1/2 finely chopped onion
    1 tablespoon chopped fresh dill
    Salt & pepper
    2 eggs
    About 1/2 cup Dijon style mustard
    About 1/4 cup honey
    2 tablespoons finely chopped green onion

    Preheat oven to 350°.

    Combine ground venison, bread crumbs, olive oil, onions, dill, salt, and pepper.

    Stir in eggs and half of the mustard (1/4 cup), mixing gently but thoroughly.

    Shape into a loaf and place the loaf in a baking pan.

    Combine the honey and remaining mustard, brush half of the mixture on the loaf.

    Bake for 30 minutes.

    Brush with remaining honey and mustard mixture and bake 30 minutes longer, or until juices run clear.

    Remove from oven and sprinkle with chopped green onion.

    Lisa Ramsey is an artist and comics writer living in Brooklyn, NY.  She also blogs and sculpts for Foodparty.tv. Although not the best cook she is highly skilled at eating.

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